7 years 8 month

Gonna be my stressful year before completion of my study.

Glad to have those who are so supportive enough, especially my boyfie and my brother.

Hao Nan is very supportive in term of my study and my other problems as well. He will keep giving me necessary advice, keep caring on me, keep making me happy, keep loving me, keep surprising me in every moment.

Yes, in term of all this, he satisfy me with some "To be my Man" criteria. Feel grateful that even though I lost someone that is great enough to be a part of my life, he send  another angel to protect me on behalf of him.

He protected me so well and always be there when I need him, just like my past. My past has changed me a lot and my present improve me a lot.

I still left one more mission to be done - to achieve a good result. He believed that I can get a good academic's result and thus, discouraging me to be a better one. Hopefully, you will be able to see my hard work without you.

Like usual, every year, I will send a message asking you how are you. I know that no one will reply me. But, of course, with the advancement in technology now, your phone number are taken by anonymous. When I saw that my message was received,it is quite scary.

The song that you like to hear and sing "kiss you, goodbye" really end up in this way.

If i tell that I didn't miss you, you won't believe it right, even your sister also ask me: you sure won;t miss him? you sure won't cry because of him? Yes, some moment I will, Sometime I hope that you will be there as a friend or no matter what we will be now, you still can be the one just like this chorus part of  one song :

能不能繼續 對我哭 對我笑 對我好 繼續讓我 為你想 為你瘋 陪你老 你好不好 我好想知道

And there still a lot of mission that you not fulfill before you choose to leave. I am here to complete everything that already been promised, include to achieve a better result in my study.

你说过的诺言 还来不及实现 自己一个人 站在这原点 这离别太心碎 我们能不能拒绝 想回到那一天 至少让我再次看你一眼

Just to thanks for sending someone good enough to be in my life. I know you like to see I smile. With him, I laugh a lot, smile a lot. You are my past, and He is my present, hoping him to be my future as well. Thanks for making my past such memorable. Everyone have their own past, and my past was with you, such great memory to be with you. All your presents always with me, no matter where am I, I will keep bringing it...

And just to tell you : I am happy enough, to be take care by someone that love me so much, and to be take care by you in the past.

Thanks for your passion and love

27.03.2015

7 years,

If you ask me will I still cry in this day？

I will say I not sure.

Sometime I can be very crazy,

Sometime I still can laugh,

And sometime, where there are no people around me,

I will cry.

26.03 is nothing for other,

but its mean a lot for me.

I admit that it is my memory,

A beautiful memory indeed,,

The beautiful things that I will never forget,

Forever....

If you ask me Do I love him?

I will say, yes, I love him.

The one that always give courage to me

If you ask me Do I love Ng Hao Nan?

Of course I will love him,

Cause they are totally different in personality

So, they can't be compare.

When I saw someone's personality is similar to Jing Qi,

My heartbeat jump very fast,

But it is only the first impression,

And I know I can't see other as him as well.

Everyone different.

I am happy that I stay happily now,

With many people that loving me,

Around with me,

Visible or Invisible,

I know many people are trying to protecting me,

Directly or Indirectly,

Thanks you.

Sincerely,

Charity Chien

15.03.3015 Graduation

Graduation,

Maybe many of that didn't care too much,
But I think it will be the day that I want to have in my life

It is the hard-work that really payoff when the moment you graduated,
It is the beginning of the true journey.

We knew that our life is too short,
Graduation is a date that you can't forget,
You can see people that are loving you come far away to give you support,
That is what I wanna to see when I graduate.
Hopefully, there are a lot of them will attending.

People are busy doing all the stuff,
But when they can put aside all the stuff and try to attend your big day,
I think that it will be the true friends, true family that you want to have.
I learn that from other people graduation day instead of mine.

Happy graduation to my room mate and my housemate,
You all deserved to have the day in your life,
Its hot,
But its the happiness that you will never have.

Happiness wont come directly if you didn work hard work it,
I am glad to have you all to participate in my life,
I am here to wish you all,

Congratulations,

Happy Graduation Day,

Wishes you all stay positively on the right track in your life,

Wishes you all all the best,

And thanks, being a part of my life.

Sincerely from my heart, although you all still dunno. Haha

11.03.2015 3.45am

Insomnia again,

Not for study this time,

But for being laziness...

Being laziness,

and make me suddenly crazy,

creating a nicer blog spot,

Yea, 

In midnight,

I know I only miss 2 person in my life,

My grandma and my memory 劲企,

Yea, honestly,

In the midnight,

when all are on bed,

I know that they are the both that beside me,

Supporting me when midnight arriving, 

Glad to have them in my life...

And I am glad when the daytime arising,

There are others that support me,

Especially the one that always care of me, Mr. Ng

If you ask me whether I still remember CJQ memory,

Of course, I will,

Even I change my phone for a lot of time after he is gone,

I still can remember his phone number.

When the big days come, I will still send a message to him,

The big day such as his birthday, our first day know each other, when he is gone,

But for sure, I  know there wasn't any reply.

If it is replied, for sure it is a scary thing.

One thing that I can't remember anymore is how he look alike....

And maybe it was my past time, my memory....

Don't ask me to forget,

Because it is a part of my life,

A part between him and me,

A part between him and my study,

And a part why I study so hard now.

I always thankful to him to make me who I am today.

Although I know If he still alive,

For sure he will get a better result than I am today.

Thanks to god for always let many good people to support me,

Although there are still some people in the world that still thought me as naive,

Maybe people will say I am not fortunate than other,

But one thing I know,

I always get the right person in my life, to support me,

Include my current Boyfriend as well,

That supporting me through all way

Although sometime there are some misunderstand or 

even not reaching the same agreement,

But we manage to fight together,

to overcome the time, the distance we had.

CJQ is the one that inspire me to study hard,

to be like him,

And for sure NHN is the one that supporting me now,

Ask me not to stress, ask me to sleep early, and ask me to have a good rest

instead of thinking too much...

For sure, I hope that our relationship will go through a long journey,

I hope and wish that,

Because get hurt from an unfortunate thing make me trauma,

And stand up from unfortunate thing need a brave attitude,

There are always some unavoidable causes in our life,

I wish and hope we will stay together forever... 

3.6.2015 3.56am

People ask you do you feel exhausted？
Yes, I am actually,
But that is the life,
I think positively.

The route in my life would not be easy,
The others too,
Do not think only you are the one who suffering,
Everyone is suffering.

I am not born to be a very clever girl,
but I am glad to be a hardworking girl,

I don't like to talk about my result actually,
no matter in sport or study,
because I do it for myself and my family,
Not others.

People always say my life only badminton and study,
People would not know that you still like to shop around, travel around and etc,
People said I had no experience in working,
People said my life no entertainment,
but actually, they don't know a lot of me.
So, stop giving comment when you do not know.


People always ask me: Do you finish study?
I don't like to lie,
You never know i had a bad memory,
If I said I only finish studying for Chapter 1, because I need 3 or 4 times to get all the things in.
If I said yes, than yes. If i say No, than No.
People who have study with me before will know that I keep repeating the same chapter before i proceed the next one.

When there are some buzz behind me that keep helping to promote my results,
I hope to ask them a question : Why don't you all just promote your result?
Its my result, not related to you, and not related to others too.

I don't like people taking me to compare with others,
because i experienced it since i were born,
I don't like to be rank,
Even the people result is better than me,
I didn't care at all....

Tomorrow

I thought that I will be happy enough,
But No,
Since I plan to come Sg.Long and continue pursuing my study,
I know, I lost so much,
Lost the time with my lovely one and my friends that I know in Kampar,
But when you already accept this life, you can't regret anymore.

The true friend at here not much,
only housemates, roomate and 2 buddies that always accompany me
But now, feel lost one of the buddy

I am glad  that he finally find his true love,
I am glad that I am the one that he will share with me,
And I am glad he find his happinness.

Just that sometime, I made it a distance.
I hope not to interrupt them,
I hope that they have their time together without consider my feeling,
And I just hope that they will be always together

Another buddy always no go for class,
Now, always walking back lonely,
Walking alone the street,
Thinking of I will never walk alone if I am still staying in Kampar,
Thinking of the one that I love.

Tomorrow is 8.8.2014,
Its a history in my life,
Always and always,
when this date approach in my life,
Its make my life miserable,
But thanks for making me tougher,
I know that you are watching on me,
far away... far away...
Just to tell you, I am happy with my life now,
Tomorrow is the day that I will make myself smile,
Just like last year, I never drop a tears,
When someone replace you.

自己一个人也可以撑着。。。
撑着

睡不着的夜晚

自己伤心时， 依靠的还是自己。。。
自己伤心时， 就要自己站起来，
因为人家不会停你的诉说，
就像听了当耳边风的态度，
所以， 除了自己， 还是自己。。。

伤心时， 让自己忙吧！

只希望一个可以为你打打气的人在你身边， 而不是一直寻找你错误的人

I try my best to be a good GF

R.I P

曾经看过你为一个心爱的她折99朵花，
看到你的付出， 很幸福的感觉，
曾经看到你为她做成她喜欢的Minion，
说真的， 我好羡慕。


浩男每一次提起你，
所以我都一直知道你在做什么，
就算你肚子不舒服，
我也知道。

你每次都以笑容对待人家，
每一次， 看到你对待你的狗狗时，
好羡慕你狗狗会有你这样的主人。

很多人都为你的离去而流泪，
包括吴浩男，
他告诉我他会很孤单。

平时我不理会他时，
你就会陪伴他说话。

谢谢你让我遇见一个为爱不求回报的男人。

1st Year Valentine day

Long time didn't come back to my world,
Long time didn't update my daily life year..

Yea, 2014 give me a lot of pressure,
From the family matters,
Until the study problems.

Last time, when people said that accounting is hard to study,
I don't trust it, 
I thought that they are too lazy,
Never impossible to get achieve if you are hard working.

Yea, they right, and I am wrong,
It's really getting tough,
Luckily I know how to manage my stress,
take a long nap anyway.
When wake up, its really fresh。

Fortunately, I manage to stand up to fight with the subject,
Its much better now,
I feel like more okay now,
Its all because of my dear and my family support.

I tell my dear my condition,
and he say to me, I already in the half way,
I told my dad that I am stressed,
He only tell me : relax my dear girl,
Its enough to feel their warm support and I get back to my track,
Catching up all the topic even some I still blurred with it..

Oh yea. Happy Valentine Day to all who celebrate it!
Feel happy to you guys,
So sweet to see those flower and dating picture,
And I, of course, 
People say that in this day, no matter how far is the boyfie is, they will go over their gf there,
Of course I feel jealous,
But I understand of my dear,
Just hoping that he will be a good guy is enough rather than do so much thing to me,
Just hoping that he will be there for me when I am sick rather than celebrate all those special days,
Just hoping that he will save money to my future. Even not my future, at least he will be in a good future. 
Just hoping that you will be happy to your life. 
Just hoping that I will always be your girl,
And Lastly,
Just hoping that behind you, there is me,
To give my full support to you
Thanks for this present, I like it...

This is dedicated to you,

 Because of the time constraints, 

and I don't know when I can post it to you,

 Just hoping you will like it

Learning Process

如果说你说我人生中只有书，

I will say No,

Because I know myself,

Whatever task you give me to do,

I will do it with 100% effort.

如果你说我“死背”书，

If I not understand what the topic is talking about,

How can I memorize it?

I am someone that know my ability,

My understanding towards something is very fast,

So, instead of just understanding,

I still have so much time to do,

Why don't I memorize it；

And play a psychological with the lecturer?

Once you follow word by word,

the answer sheet of course will be similar with the lecture note or text book,

It is easier for them to mark it.

If you use your own word, some word will be manipulated and the lecturer have the difficulties to mark your paper and end up some of the point they will missed up ( I will only do this if i had forgotten everything).

如果你说我“死背”书，

I will say, Yes, I did it,

Because I do not want to headache to think how to elaborate the point myself,

And importantly, I wanna leave the cold examination hall early.

如果你说我“死背”书,

I just wanna to say,

Everyone have their own style to study,

I have gone through many types of study style,

And this is the most effective for me to cope in exam..

For me, understanding is very important,

No understand, No memorize,

But if you understand and memorize it,

It will help you a lot to cope with exam.

如果你说我什么都不会，

I just wanna say,

我不是那样的完美，

但我会努力的学习，

学习我不会的东西，

小时， 人生也许经过太多风风雨雨，

没人理解，

现在只想自由自在， 开开心心，

什么事都不想，

让自己活得更精彩，

因为生命是多么的短暂，

现在可以做的就要把握。

*No one should judge others learning style. Everyone brain operate differently, no one know, only you know it. If you think that its the way you learn, so move forward. However, if that way doesn't achieve anything, you can alter and slowly move yourself to another style. * 

林小青， 继续加油!

Smile for everything

For me,
Its better to smile,
rather than i keep thinking,
and made myself sad...

Its not that I am acting to be happy,
Its not that I am fake to myself,
But in this way, many things can settle in one time.
I will not ask again and again, repeat and repeat.

RM 7600,
For me, its already past,
and its become a joke in my daily life,
But i think this joke is very good for me,
As Bro Yang told me : Its an experience, just learn for it..

I will not ask for my past,
I will ask for my future,
Yes, you are well-educated doesn't mean you are success in your life,
Everyone have their own opinion,
We cannot force everyone to follow us,
But now,
For me,
I made all the effort, to make my parents happy,
Now, for me, no matter who say well educated doesn't mean I am success in my life,
For me, in my first-level of life, Yes, I am success in my life,
I can make my parents happy is the most important things right now,
Because they are older and older, so, its the result they want from me today...

I still remember in one of the foundation year, I get 3.8 and my dad email to me : Congratulations my dear daughter.. You know that you are stubborn in primary school time. No matter how hard you try, you still fail.. When you UPSR time, you  ardworking to study, but you still have no luck, just 4A's. Daddy buy a very super normal phone for you that time because you cry. You think that you are very hardworking but end up with failure. Daddy buy a very stupid secondhand phone to you because to encourage you for your secondary life. Than you tell daddy, you aim to play badminton well as you think you are not good in study no matter how hard you try, daddy send you to sport school. 3 months later, you say you don't want to be a super good badminton player already, I send you back to hometown to continue your common secondary life. Before, PMR, you meet another trauma, someone that who love you so much passed away, but you managed to challenge yourself and get 7A's. Your mum kiss you for the first time, daddy happy, daddy did not show it, than daddy buy a RM 700 ++ camera ( its quite expensive that time). Its a new cause daddy think that although you are stubborn, stupid, but you can overcome it. That's the spirit I see on my daughter. SPM, you did badly, because you get into Kelantan badminton player team..Its hard to maintain both...
In foundation, the luck come. You again prove and prove to us that you are super good. You are still stupid, but because you are hardworking enough, you win everything. Hardworking help you catch up all the things, so you become clever now..

Last, daddy email me, to make your parents happy in your first-level life, you are success enough in this stage.. The growth is still long way, but this way you did it well.. Keep it up!

突然想你

谢谢那么一个你疼爱我，

谢谢那么一个你陪伴我，

谢谢那么一个你。。。

Its been 1 year ++ friendship,
and its had been past 3 month anniversary,
Thanks, we still here...

When i sad you will be there,
listen to me..
When I happy, you will be there,
share my happiness,
When I naughty, you will be there,
let me bully you
When I lazy, you will be there,
ask me to wake up..
When I pain, you will be there,
caring me...

We had been through suffer moment in this relationship,
Before studying in KL,
I might think you will not chase me and find another girl in Kampar,
But, yea... I am wrong..
You try to save up money, try to eat less, just to go KL
See how was me there....

I like you care of me
I like you make me laugh,
I like to see your smile,
And last,
I like to see the time you happy with me, and forget everything that going on...

Sincerely,
From Baby
12:13 a.m

Stress out

It really not the easy way to study in UTAR,
especially this course that I had chosen,
But if i stay down and looking down,
I will just waste my time..
Rather than that,
I choose to behave forward,
looking forward,
even though i really struggle,
as it not really simple,
But at least looking forward is better than I stay behind.

Heard that one of the excellent students from our campus commit suicide in the UTAR building,
many thought that he chose the wrong way,
He did not think twice, he did not think  about his future, his life, his family,
But for me, he choose the way he think that is better for him,
He chose the way that none of the people will chose,
He is brave enough,
Overcome the high, who else can do this? I think all of us afraid to have the end of life,
But he choose to end his life.
This is what he think to do...
And I choose to wish him for the new journey..

I admit I am stress out with Community Service,
It actually not hard,
But it quite disappointing with commitment from the group members,
I choose to keep silent and settle up eveything myself..

maybe, for me, happiness is very simple,
as long as i have happy family and someone love me,
Glad that I have a great life... with them

Happy father's Day

" Thanks, daddy want u to study hard and achieve your dream to become A accountaty <ACCA & MIA>. Ok, that's all dadddy want.."

Again, this time father day I am not in Kelantan..
I still remember I have brought my dad a wallet since I was small..
And now, I begin to be adult and adult,
I begin to learn everything in live,
what about life is,
How my social life going aroud..

I send daddy a sms, wish him Happy father's day,
And he actually just hope that I will do my best in my life,
Yea, its true that you do not deserve anything if you are only a good hardworking student, but not a success girl in my life,
But I hope I will become both...
Even you are so great in study, do not meant to be that you are study in life,
But for me, as long as I am alive, every phrases of my life, I will be success,
A child of my parents, A student and a success working girl in the future..

I am here to promise my dad I will study hard as it is your money,
I am here to promise my dad I will success in my future as it is to pay you back for what you have done in my last life..

Thanks daddy.

Yea, I am in stress, but luckily I have you, roommate and those best best friends with me, accompany me in this tough road...